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Since I own the bar, everyone thinks I am sober enough to be the DD. Last night was no exception. As I was exiting the bar, I noticed a county cop up the street with his lights off. I calmly climbed into the car and slipped as I went to shut the door. I finally got situated and promptly killed the motor twice in a row as I went to pull out of the parking lot. My car was cold and did a little buck jump as I pulled onto the road, so I shifted into neutral and reved up the motor a few times to get it to warm up a little faster. I have to make two left turns to go home. The first is in a lane of travel and I never signal for it when I stop at the sign. The second is another street and I used my signal. About that time the officer from up the street pulled around the corner behind me. I saw him make the corner and adjusted my seat and made a wobble as I straightened out. The next corner about a block ahead of me is a left turn also from a one way street onto a two lane, with a turn lane marked. As I went around the corner onto the highway, the officer pulled out and promptly turned on his lights. I pulled ahead a half a block and pulled into the grocery store parking lot. There were immediately three cars and officers around me. I shut the motor off and stepped out of the car, tripping on the seat belt as I did so. I caught myself and kind of stumbled a little. One officer mentioned that although I had turned off the motor, I had left the headlights on. I quickly shut them off. I asked what they needed and the first officer asked if I had been drinking. I replied I had a beer earlier. They next wanted to know if I would take a breathalizer test and I said sure.{ if you don't, you automatically lose your drivers license] I passed that and the next officer wanted to know if I could recite the alphabet backwards and I promptly explained that I couldn't do that drunk, let alone sober. I walked their line, stood on one foot, closed my eyes and fell down. They picked me up and noticed that I had a prescription for Vertigo and figured then that I couldn"t stand with my eyes closed. They went back behind the car and the three of them had about a five minute confab. They came back and explained that I did not appear to be drunk, but that I had done some odd things upon leaving my business. By now it is after midnight on New Years Eve. I finally got them to understand about every thing except reving the motor. Finally they asked where I was going and I said home early because I was the DD. One said the designated driver? And I said no THE DESIGNATED DECOY. While you were harrassing me all my customers went home. Happy new year again.
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ROTFLMAS!
From the "deep south" part of Canada
Richard in Smithville
http://richardspensandthings.blogspot.com/Comment
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