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An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third, a quarter of a beer. The bartender says "You're all idiots", and pours two beers.
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Bob
Bad decisions make good stories. -
Sweet just greatIt's Like I've always said, it's amazing what an agnostic can't do if he dosent know whether he believes in anything or not
Monty Python's Flying Circus
Dan in Harrisburg, NC -
The bartender's got more to worry about than pouring beer... He's just exceeded his max. occupancy limit... And how long does it take to check ID's on an infinite number of thirsty mathematicians??
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A mathematician and an engineer are put in a room, and at the other end of the room a gorgeous, naked woman is lying on a bed.
They're told that every minute, they can cover half the distance to the woman. The mathematician immediately walks out of the room, recognizing he'll never get there. The engineer stays.
Asked why he stayed, the engineer says, "In theory I may never get there, but I'll be close enough for practical purposes."
The engineer thinks like I do.
David
The chief cause of failure in this life is giving up what you want most for what you want at the moment.Comment
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Love it!
An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician were on a train and had just crossed into Scotland. The engineer looked out of the window and noted "Look -- Scottish sheep are black!" The physicist said, "no, no -- some Scottish sheep are black." The mathematician shook his head and said, "At this moment in Scotland there exists at least one field, on which there is at least one sheep, at least one side of which is black."online at http://www.theFrankes.com
while ( !( succeed = try() ) ) ;
"Life is short, Art long, Occasion sudden and dangerous, Experience deceitful, and Judgment difficult." -HippocratesComment
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Three engineers are sitting in a bar discussing what kind of engineer God is. The first says 'God is a mechanical engineer. Just look at the human skeletal and muscle systems and how well they work". The second says, "No, God is an electrical engineer. Just look at the nervous system and the brain and how perfectly designed it is". The third says "You are both wrong. God is a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste dump so close to a recreation area?"David
The chief cause of failure in this life is giving up what you want most for what you want at the moment.Comment
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a mathmatician walks into a diner and sits down. Waitress asks what'll he have, hon? He says pi.A Man is incomplete until he gets married ... then he's FINISHED!!!Comment
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From an engineering professor of mine:
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does itwork?"
The graduate with an Business degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress...
The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there.
The engineer said, "I like both."
"Both?"
Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done."
An engineering student was walking across campus when another
engineer rides up on a shiny new motorcycle:
"Where did you get such a great bike? "asked the first.
The second engineer replied "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said "Take what you want."'"
The first engineer nodded approvingly "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. - Thomas EdisonComment
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[QUOTE=Tom Slick;378362][FONT=Comic Sans MS]From an engineering professor of mine:
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does itwork?"
The graduate with an Business degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
[FONT=Comic Sans MS] And the worker with the GED says "I fixed it, it's working."
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