Set down your drink! Joke of the day.

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • LinuxRandal
    Veteran Member
    • Feb 2005
    • 4890
    • Independence, MO, USA.
    • bt3100

    #1

    Set down your drink! Joke of the day.

    On my 60th birthday, I got a gift certificate from my wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a shaman living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.

    After being persuaded, I drove to the reservation, handed my ticket to the shaman, and wondered what I was in for. The old man slowly, methodically produced a potion, handed it to me, and with a grip on my shoulder, warned, This is powerful medicine and it must be respected. You take only a teaspoonful and then say '1-2- 3.' When you do that, you will be more potent than you have ever been in your life and you can perform as long as you want.'

    I was encouraged. As he walked away, I turned and asked, 'How do I stop the medicine from working?'

    Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,' the shaman responded. But when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon.

    I was eager to see if it worked I went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited my wife to join me in the bedroom. When she came in, I took off my clothes and said, '1-2-3!'

    Immediately, I was the manliest of men.

    My wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes. And then she asked, What was the 1-2-3 for?

    And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition.
    She couldn't tell the difference between the escape pod, and the bathroom. We had to go back for her.........................Twice.
  • BobSch
    Veteran Member
    • Aug 2004
    • 4385
    • Minneapolis, MN, USA.
    • BT3100

    #2
    I knew ending a sentence with a preposition was a bad thing, but I never knew why before. thanks!

    As far as the next full moon, I have only one question — Whose?
    Bob

    Bad decisions make good stories.

    Comment

    • RayintheUK
      Veteran Member
      • Sep 2003
      • 1792
      • Crowborough, East Sussex, United Kingdom.
      • Ryobi BT3000

      #3
      Originally posted by LinuxRandal
      And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition.
      Visiting American tourist in Oxford, UK, asks of a passer-by: "Can you tell me where the nearest bookshop's at?"

      The passer-by, who happens to be a University Don replies: "You should never end a sentence with a preposition."

      The tourist responds "OK - can you tell me where the nearest bookshop's at, a**hole?"

      Ray.
      Did I offend you? Click here.

      Comment

      • Ed62
        The Full Monte
        • Oct 2006
        • 6021
        • NW Indiana
        • BT3K

        #4
        Good one.

        Ed
        Do you know about kickback? Ray has a good writeup here... https://www.sawdustzone.org/articles...mare-explained

        For a kickback demonstration video http://www.metacafe.com/watch/910584...demonstration/

        Comment

        • cabinetman
          Gone but not Forgotten RIP
          • Jun 2006
          • 15216
          • So. Florida
          • Delta

          #5
          Originally posted by RayintheUK
          Visiting American tourist in Oxford, UK, asks of a passer-by: "Can you tell me where the nearest bookshop's at?"

          The passer-by, who happens to be a University Don replies: "You should never end a sentence with a preposition."

          The tourist responds "OK - can you tell me where the nearest bookshop's at, a**hole?"

          Ray.

          Now that's grammatically correct.
          .

          Comment

          • JR
            The Full Monte
            • Feb 2004
            • 5636
            • Eugene, OR
            • BT3000

            #6
            Originally posted by RayintheUK
            "You should never end a sentence with a preposition."
            This is the sort of pedantic nonsense up with which I will not put.
            JR

            Comment

            • crokett
              The Full Monte
              • Jan 2003
              • 10627
              • Mebane, NC, USA.
              • Ryobi BT3000

              #7
              Originally posted by BobSch

              As far as the next full moon, I have only one question — Whose?
              I was wondering the same thing. There is an alternate ending to that joke.
              David

              The chief cause of failure in this life is giving up what you want most for what you want at the moment.

              Comment

              Working...