Call Center conversations

[jgrobler]

Disclaimer: I don't know if they are in fact actual, or made up, but here goes:

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Customer: 'I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?'.
Operator: 'Where did you get that number from, sir?'.
Customer: 'It was on the door to the Travel Centre'.
Operator: 'Sir, they are our opening hours'.
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Samsung Electronics
Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about'.
Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'.
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RAC Motoring Services
Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?'
Operator: ' Doesn't the product name give you a clue?'
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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France ):
'If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?'
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Directory Enquiries
Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please'.
Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?'
Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off'.
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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'
Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland '.
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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:
'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on'.
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Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'.
Customer: 'OK'.
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'.
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'.
Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click''.
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Tech Support: 'OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'
Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?'
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Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?'.
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Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared.'
Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'
Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??'
Caller: 'I don't know.'
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'
Caller: 'I can't reach.'
Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??'
Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.'
Operator: 'Dark??'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
' Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller: 'I can't.'
Operator: 'No? Why not??'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator: 'A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'
Operator: 'Tell them you're too f --- ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!'

[crokett]

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Wow. How can you see my screen from there?'

Way back when I used to support Microsoft Cluster Server. I installed/reinstalled it enough times with customers that when they called for help I got this question more often than not.

[docrowan]

Things were a lot simpler back in the old DOS days. I would tell the user what to type in and have him or her read to me what the response was. The only trouble I had was to explain the difference between a back slash and a forward slash. Now you have no idea how the user has set up his computer. Even something as simple as telling him to go to the "Start" button can be complicated by Autohide and if the user has moved his Start Menu bar to the side instead of the bottom as it usually is.

[crokett]

That is why when I have customers do something now I have them use the command line, but that can get complicated. Once I wanted a customer to change directorys and delete a file. I asked him to type

cd c:\worden

and what he actually typed was

cdspaceccolonbacksl......

It took me a bit to figure out why the command wasn't working.

[docrowan]

I asked him to type

cd c:\worden

and what he actually typed was

cdspaceccolonbacksl......

It took me a bit to figure out why the command wasn't working.

We often have to give a license key that includes letters to customers and employees over the phone. Because of the sound alike of 'B' 'C' 'D', etc, I usually say "G as in George", or "F as in Frank". My superior does the same thing, except he usually uses the military abbreviations Baker, Charlie, etc. He doesn't say "Foxtrot" anymore after he had a customer type "FT" everytime it appeared in the license code. Took them 30 minutes to figure that one out.

[Kristofor]

Things were a lot simpler back in the old DOS days. I would tell the user what to type in and have him or her read to me what the response was. The only trouble I had was to explain the difference between a back slash and a forward slash.

Ah, the memories... My normal spiel was: "Backslash is the one that's high on the left and low on the right, it's usually above the enter key, and it's the one that's not on the question mark key".

I went through that because the older keyboards tended to move the actual key around alot depending on if they had the 'L' shaped enter key, 10 vs. 12 function keys and such. The problem arose when you started dealing with the non-english language countries as they may still have a question mark on the keyboard but it may or may not be paired with the backslash...

[shoottx]

Id Ten T Error!

Judy, the editor of a trivia publication, was having trouble with her computer. So she called Prem, the computer guy, over to her desk. Prem clicked a couple buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, Judy called after him, "So, what was wrong?"

And he replied, "It was an ID ten T error."

A puzzled statement ran riot over Judy's face. "An ID ten T error?
What's that ... in case I need to fix it again??"

He gave her a grin... ;-) ... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"

"No," replied Judy.

"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out." (She wrote...)

I D 1 0 T

[gerti]

Things were a lot simpler back in the old DOS days.

Sure were. I remember a colleague calling once who had trouble getting NEWDOS80 booted from floppy. I asked him to hold the phone receiver to the drive and reboot. Afterwards I told him what to do to fix it... I knew that OS very well, and specifically what was loaded from which track on the floppy. So listening to the head stepping gave me a pretty good idea what was going wrong.