Draft the 60 and older

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  • tuttlejr
    Established Member
    • Aug 2003
    • 440
    • LAKEWAY, TX, USA.

    #1

    Draft the 60 and older

    New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!
    I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

    For starters:
    Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

    Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky American is a dangerous American. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some ******* that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

    An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the ****. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-*****.

    If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

    Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

    They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. I can hear the Drill Instructor In the 'New Military' now, 'Get down and give me ... er .. One.'

    Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

    An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.


    These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

    Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see right now is a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them. Also, we won't get in trouble for mistreating prisoners.
    We won't take any.

    If nothing else, put us on border patrol....we will have it secured the first night!
    Bob Tuttle
  • RAFlorida
    Veteran Member
    • Apr 2008
    • 1179
    • Green Swamp in Central Florida. Gator property!
    • Ryobi BT3000

    #2
    I stand beside you Bob.

    Where did you say we sign up at?

    Comment

    • RodKirby
      Veteran Member
      • Dec 2002
      • 3136
      • Melbourne, Victoria, Australia.
      • Mao Shan TSC-10RAS

      #3
      I'm ready!
      Downunder ... 1" = 25.4mm

      Comment

      • Richard in Smithville
        Veteran Member
        • Oct 2006
        • 3014
        • On the TARDIS
        • BT 3100

        #4
        Sounds good. I have two teenage daughters who are frequently visited by teenage boys. If I'm gonna be feeling like killing someone soon, I might as well use it constructivley.

        ( Actually, if a teenage boy crossed either of my daughters, I don't think they would leave much for me!)
        From the "deep south" part of Canada

        Richard in Smithville

        http://richardspensandthings.blogspot.com/

        Comment

        • Hellrazor
          Veteran Member
          • Dec 2003
          • 2091
          • Abyss, PA
          • Ridgid R4512

          #5
          Richard,

          Did you introduce them to your gun collection yet?

          Comment

          • Richard in Smithville
            Veteran Member
            • Oct 2006
            • 3014
            • On the TARDIS
            • BT 3100

            #6
            No gun collection but I did show a young man how well my BT cuts.
            From the "deep south" part of Canada

            Richard in Smithville

            http://richardspensandthings.blogspot.com/

            Comment

            • JSUPreston
              Veteran Member
              • Dec 2005
              • 1189
              • Montgomery, AL.
              • Delta 36-979 w/Biesemyere fence kit making it a 36-982. Previous saw was BT3100-1.

              #7
              I turn 35 in a few months...could I sign up early?

              Part of that reminds me of the Jerry Clower story with Uncle Versy (sp?) talking about killing Hitler. Punch line of the joke was that Hitler had to step out on the porch sometime. (For those of you who don't know, Uncle Versy didn't know about indoor plumbing).
              "It's a dog eat dog world out there, and I'm wearing Milk-Bone underwear."- Norm (from Cheers)

              Eat beef-because the west wasn't won on salad.

              Comment

              • TB Roye
                Veteran Member
                • Jan 2004
                • 2969
                • Sacramento, CA, USA.
                • BT3100

                #8
                I am 66 and ready. Let me organize it. All the B-52 we have, flying wing tip to wing tip would clear up any problem any with terrorist quickly. Right down the ridge line between Afganastan and Pakistan would find usama bin laden or what the f his name is same for the Idiots in Iran and Syira. The B-52s are almost our age and should work fine even wth the sons, daughter and grand kids of the original crews flying them Combine the crews old an new and make it a family afair.

                Tom

                Comment

                • shoottx
                  Veteran Member
                  • May 2008
                  • 1240
                  • Plano, Texas
                  • BT3000

                  #9
                  At the outset of hostilities in the current war on terror, my business partner is a retired 82nd Airborne Col. called the pentagon and volunteered his services.

                  The young assignment officer looked up his records and said he would be 4I.

                  Dan said he had heard a lot of classifications during his service but he was unfamiliar with 4I.

                  The assignment officer said “If the terrorist get to 4th and I street in Washington DC he would call.
                  Often in error - Never in doubt

                  Mike

                  Comment

                  • SARGE..g-47

                    #10
                    I think I will pass on both the military and the border patrol. I already have a job tracking terrorist and illegal aliens without having to leave my neighbor-hood.

                    Comment

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