Humor for Lexophiles
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger; then it hit me.
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Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
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Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
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The biggest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
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The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
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To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
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When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
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The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
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Did you hear about the thief who stole a calendar and got twelve months?
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Then there was the thief who took Viagra and became a hardened criminal.
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The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shakey ground.
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The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
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If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
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A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
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A bicycle can't stand alone; it's is two tired.
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A will is a dead giveaway.
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Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
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A backward poet writes inverse.
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In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
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A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
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When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
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A lot of money is tainted: "Taint yours, and "Taint mine.
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A boiled egg is hard to beat.
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He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
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When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
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If you jump off a Paris bridge you are in Seine.
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Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
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Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
---------------------
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
---------------------
The biggest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
---------------------
The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
---------------------
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
---------------------
When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
---------------------
The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
---------------------
Did you hear about the thief who stole a calendar and got twelve months?
---------------------
Then there was the thief who took Viagra and became a hardened criminal.
---------------------
The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shakey ground.
---------------------
The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
---------------------
If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
---------------------
A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
---------------------
A bicycle can't stand alone; it's is two tired.
---------------------
A will is a dead giveaway.
---------------------
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
---------------------
A backward poet writes inverse.
---------------------
In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
---------------------
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
---------------------
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
---------------------
A lot of money is tainted: "Taint yours, and "Taint mine.
---------------------
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
---------------------
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
---------------------
When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
---------------------
If you jump off a Paris bridge you are in Seine.
---------------------
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
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