I have a question

[Ed62]

I received this in an e-mail. Thought you might enjoy it.

Subject: I Have a Question







Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?





*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?







*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*




*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?




*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*



If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?






*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?






*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?






*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?






*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? ?




*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Do Lipton Tea employees take 'coffee breaks?'






*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*




*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?






*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?






*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Is it true that you never really learn to swear until you learn to drive?






*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?






*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?




*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the two words 'The' and 'IRS' together, it spells
'THEIRS'?

[big tim]

Good one, Ed.

Tim

[iceman61]

Funny Ed


Here's one to add to your list:
Shouldn't a proctologist really be called an Astronaut?

[jhart]

Liked them Ed. Especially last on about the IRS. Thanks

[MilDoc]

"THEIRS" -- yep.

[footprintsinconc]

nice set of interesting questions!

[BobSch]

Yep. I'll all be THEIRS on Tuesday.

[cwithboat]

This may relate

The English
Language Lesson

We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?

If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?



If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?

Beware of heard, a dreadful word
That looks like beard and sounds like bird.
If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the
same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

Reasons to be grateful if you grew up speaking English:

1) I did not object to the object.
2) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
3) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
4) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
5) The farmer could produce produce.

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
in which your house can burn up as it burns down,
in which you fill in a form by filling it out,
and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

And that is just the beginning
even though this is the end.

[crokett]

Good one Charlie!