No parent left behind (funny)

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  • germdoc
    Veteran Member
    • Nov 2003
    • 3567
    • Omaha, NE
    • BT3000--the gray ghost
    #1

    No parent left behind (funny)

    NO PARENT LEFT BEHIND....

    These are real notes written by parents.
    Spellings have been left intact.


    1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.


    2. Please exkuce Lisa for being absent she was sick and I had her shot.


    3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.


    4. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.


    5. Please excuse Roland from p.e. For a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.


    6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.


    7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.


    8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.


    9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.


    10. Please excuse ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.


    11. Please excuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. She had diahre dyrea direathe...the s***s.


    12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.


    13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.


    14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.


    15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.


    16. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday. We thought it was Sunday.


    17. Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.


    18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.


    19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.


    20. Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.


    21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.


    22. Please excuse Brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.


    23. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.


    Now we know why parents are screaming for better education for our kids.
    Jeff


    “Doctors are men who prescribe medicines of which they know little, to cure diseases of which they know less, in human beings of whom they know nothing”--Voltaire
    Tags: None
    • Black wallnut
      cycling to health
      • Jan 2003
      • 5513
      • Ellensburg, Wa, USA.
      • BT3k 1999
      #2
      I can believe these came from parents! Adult illiteracy is no laughing matter when faced in the first person. In my son's Scout Troop we have a mother that judging by her emails could have written any of the above.

      Trying to decipher her emails is frustrating to say the least.
      Donate to my Tour de Cure


      marK in WA and Ryobi Fanatic Association State President ©

      Head servant of the forum

      ©

        Comment

        • cabinetman
          Gone but not Forgotten RIP
          • Jun 2006
          • 15216
          • So. Florida
          • Delta
          #3
          Good list. How 'bout the one: "Johnny was absent due to being sick"...signed: My Father.
          .

            Comment

            • catta12
              Established Member
              • Jan 2008
              • 250
              • Reno, NV
              • BTS20R
              #4
              These parents are the grown up version of the kids mentioned in the post "I was standing in line" by cabinetman yesterday.
              Last edited by catta12; 02-13-2008, 09:26 AM.
              If you can read this you assembled wrong.


              Alan

                Comment

                • LinuxRandal
                  Veteran Member
                  • Feb 2005
                  • 4890
                  • Independence, MO, USA.
                  • bt3100
                  #5
                  One of them, I would write on the note "It takes two to tango!" and send it back to them. Several of them I would think need a fake call from someone of "authority" to make them check their notes.

                  Other then that, reminds me of a tv show.


                  Signed
                  Epstein's mother
                  She couldn't tell the difference between the escape pod, and the bathroom. We had to go back for her.........................Twice.

                    Comment

                    • bmyers
                      Veteran Member
                      • Jun 2003
                      • 1371
                      • Fishkill, NY
                      • bt 3100
                      #6
                      In my old H.S., if you missed a day you had to fill out a card that you gave to your teachers that day for them to sign and they sent a copy home to M&D. The card had a “Reason for absence" section on it along with all the other stuff. One day when I missed school I filled out the card and walked around giving that to my teachers.

                      So I stroll in to English class a little late and handed the card to my teacher who's reading something from a book to the class. As she's glancing over at the card and reading the book to the class she started laughing out loud. She stopped reading the book and said, "Please welcome back Mr. Myers, he missed school yesterday because he was terminally ill."

                      My mom got a laugh out of it when they sent the card home too.

                      Mr. Myers
                      "Why are there Braille codes on drive-up ATM machines?"

                        Comment

                        • Russianwolf
                          Veteran Member
                          • Jan 2004
                          • 3152
                          • Martinsburg, WV, USA.
                          • One of them there Toy saws
                          #7
                          Heck, the school called my mom one day because the signature on the note she sent didn't look right.



                          That's how my mom found out that I had skipped school 10 time. They had notes for each occurance, but they had never seen her real signature.
                          Mike
                          Lakota's Dad

                          If at first you don't succeed, deny you were trying in the first place.

                            Comment

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