Man Rules

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  • big tim
    Senior Member
    • Mar 2006
    • 546
    • Scarborough, Toronto,Canada
    • SawStop PCS

    #1

    Man Rules

    To help women understand us better, posted without malice.


    The ManRules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­
    At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down



    Finally, the guys' side of the story.
    (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
    We always hear "the rules "
    From the female side.



    Now here are the rules from the male side.


    These are our rules!
    Please note.. These are all numbered "1"
    ON PURPOSE!



    1. Men are NOT mind readers.

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
    You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
    We need it up, you need it down.
    You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
    Or the changing of the tides.
    Let it be.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want.
    Let us be clear on this one:
    Subtle hints do not work!
    Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work!
    Just say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    1. Come to us with a problemonly if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
    Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
    In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
    Don't ask us.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant theother one

    1. You can either ask us to do something
    Or tell us how you want it done.
    Not both.
    If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

    1. Christopher Columbus didNOT need directions and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
    We do that.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
    We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or



    Motor sports


    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape.Round IS a shape!

    1. Thank you for reading this.
    Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
    But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

    Pass this to as many men as you can -
    To give them a laugh.

    Pass this to as many women as you can -



    To give them a bigger laugh.


    "If attitudes were contagious,
    Would yours be worth catching?"
    Sometimes my mind wanders. It's always come back though......sofar!
  • gad5264
    Veteran Member
    • Aug 2005
    • 1407
    • Columbus, Ohio, USA
    • BT3000/BT3100NIB

    #2
    Try explaining that to SWMBO as you are fluffing the pillows on the sofa....HAHAHA
    Grant
    "GO Buckeyes"

    My projects: http://community.webshots.com/user/gad5264

    Comment

    • kirkroy
      Established Member
      • Feb 2007
      • 343
      • Brunswick, MD

      #3
      The key is to have a really comfortable sofa for sleeping on. I don't mind sleeping on mine at all...

      Comment

      • crokett
        The Full Monte
        • Jan 2003
        • 10627
        • Mebane, NC, USA.
        • Ryobi BT3000

        #4
        I like sleeping in my bed too much to show that to my wife. I've slept on our couch and it is not all that comfortable.
        David

        The chief cause of failure in this life is giving up what you want most for what you want at the moment.

        Comment

        • TB Roye
          Veteran Member
          • Jan 2004
          • 2969
          • Sacramento, CA, USA.
          • BT3100

          #5
          I wouldn't sleep on the couch. LOML's dog has that. Me I would and have slept in my nice comfortable recliner. I have shown LOML that list before, not good.

          Tom

          Comment

          • Richard in Smithville
            Veteran Member
            • Oct 2006
            • 3014
            • On the TARDIS
            • BT 3100

            #6
            I had the couch discussion with LOML once. I told her " That's my bed too. If you don't want to sleep with me, you can always pick the couch". Never had the discussion again.

            Now of course that's the only time that I won even though LOML will never admit it.
            From the "deep south" part of Canada

            Richard in Smithville

            http://richardspensandthings.blogspot.com/

            Comment

            • TheRic
              Veteran Member
              • Jun 2004
              • 1912
              • West Central Ohio
              • bt3100

              #7
              I'm hearing impaired, take my ears (hearing aids) out at night. There have been more than once she was crying, upset, angry, etc (see Rule #1). Asked if anything was wrong, she would say no (see Rule #1). I rolled over and went to sleep. Didn't hear a thing. After a few times she doesn't try that anymore.
              Ric

              Plan for the worst, hope for the best!

              Comment

              • Jaden
                Established Member
                • Feb 2006
                • 202
                • Trenton, MI
                • BT3100

                #8
                Not to mention, in most homes, in front of the couch is where the big TV is kept...........comfy couch, big screen, argument won....

                Steve
                "I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis." - Zaphod Beeblebrox

                Comment

                • jackellis
                  Veteran Member
                  • Nov 2003
                  • 2638
                  • Tahoe City, CA, USA.
                  • BT3100

                  #9
                  Sorry but I don't understand. My wife already follows them and even worse, imposes those rules...on me!

                  Nuthin' subtle about my woman.

                  Comment

                  • Mrs. Wallnut
                    Bandsaw Box Momma
                    • Apr 2005
                    • 1566
                    • Ellensburg, Washington, USA.

                    #10
                    I have read those about 13 years ago and understand them and now I follow them. I only complain about a few things and I usually just tell Mark what I want, don't normally get it but I tell him anyways .

                    Those were good. Thanks, I may pass them on to my single friends so that they are prepared.
                    Mrs. Wallnut a.k.a (the head nut).

                    Comment

                    • Ed62
                      The Full Monte
                      • Oct 2006
                      • 6021
                      • NW Indiana
                      • BT3K

                      #11
                      Those were good. I'll add one more....Do not ask me to do something, then tell me how to do it. I'll find a way.

                      Ed
                      Do you know about kickback? Ray has a good writeup here... https://www.sawdustzone.org/articles...mare-explained

                      For a kickback demonstration video http://www.metacafe.com/watch/910584...demonstration/

                      Comment

                      • Anna
                        Senior Member
                        • Feb 2006
                        • 728
                        • CA, USA.
                        • BT3100

                        #12
                        Originally posted by Mrs. Wallnut
                        I have read those about 13 years ago and understand them and now I follow them. I only complain about a few things and I usually just tell Mark what I want, don't normally get it but I tell him anyways .

                        Those were good. Thanks, I may pass them on to my single friends so that they are prepared.
                        Have to agree. I just pick my battles now. And the hints thing is right on. He never gets them, whether subtle or direct. If it's a hint, it either goes unnoticed or gets misinterpreted disastrously. Then I don't get what I want or, worse, I get something I don't want. He gets frustrated because as far as he's concerned he either never knew about it or tried hard to please me. I get frustrated because "he doesn't love me anymore; if he did he should have known exactly what I wasn't telling him."

                        Now when I want something, I tell him directly or I go buy it and thank him for the lovely present when he gets home. At least one of us still gets surprised.

                        Comment

                        • Mrs. Wallnut
                          Bandsaw Box Momma
                          • Apr 2005
                          • 1566
                          • Ellensburg, Washington, USA.

                          #13
                          Anna, that is exactly what I do. Go and get it and then tell him thanks, that is when we have the extra.

                          Most of the time I let him think that he is right but I actually know that I am right.

                          (You know Mark is going to read this and then I am going to get a phone call from him or an email.) But thats okay he knows that I still love him after almost 13 years of marriage.
                          Mrs. Wallnut a.k.a (the head nut).

                          Comment

                          • germdoc
                            Veteran Member
                            • Nov 2003
                            • 3567
                            • Omaha, NE
                            • BT3000--the gray ghost

                            #14
                            I'm sure you'll all appreciate this:

                            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUmp1FLjtYo

                            If those had been around a few years ago I'd probably still be married...
                            Jeff


                            “Doctors are men who prescribe medicines of which they know little, to cure diseases of which they know less, in human beings of whom they know nothing”--Voltaire

                            Comment

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