Being involved in the life of your kids

[Ed62]

I think everyone agrees being involved with your kid's lives is a good thing. But how far do you go? There are people who seem to take it to extremes, like going on job interviews with a child who just happens to be over 30 years of age (reminds me of an episode of "Everybody Loves Raymond"). How much involvement is called for, and for how long?

Ed

[JoeyGee]

I have heard reports of many companies reporting interviewees coming in with their parents and/or having to negotiate pay and benefits with parents. It's just common sense to know you are doing no favors for your children by doing this.

I was raised by my parents to be self-reliant and independent. My wife was not. Our approaches to many things in life are highly influenced by this, and I wouldn't trade my upbringing for anything, even when my wife says I was "neglected".

[Ed62]

I agree with you, Joe. I think people need to keep their kids from harmful situations, and teach them right from wrong. Teaching them how to set their priorities straight. But they have to make their own mistakes throughout life in order to grow.

Ed

[Hellrazor]

Ick.. interviews. I had an interview the other day with someone who will never hold a job. He would have needed both his parents, grandparents, a priest,the pope and someone holding a bag of $1million to help. We ask so many questions and give each answer a numeric value. 1 being the worst, etc. After that interview we decided we needed 0 and -1.....

[JSUPreston]

Sounds like another reason to be thankful for the upbringing I had. Short story...mom died just as I turned 8. Dad was bad. Moved in with mom's mother & stepfather. Grandmother was as evil as my father. Moved to a childrens home at age 14. They married me off nearly 10 years later. Because of life experiences, I tend to be very independent...to the point of being too independent at times.

I do ask others for advice, but I wouldn't dare take someone on an interview with me.

[big tim]

AAh, that's the dilemma parents face, you walk a fine line giving the kids enough rope to learn and learn from their mistakes and not quite enough so they'll hang themselves. Most of all they've got to know you love them.
We've got eight of them, all grown up now, lots of grandkids. A lot of hard work, but lots of fun too.

Tim

[leehljp]

This is an issue that is sensitive with me. It seems that a few parents have wanted their kids involved in everything, and from a few, there has been a demand that work revolve around the kids schedules. Strong assertive steps and actions have to be taken at this point.

I wonder if this is a part of the "self esteem" philosophy in the past few years to teach each child "I am important, I am somebody, I am the best." Instead of earned respect, it was "given" to them, and they now "demand" it as such. We called that "spoiled" in my youth.

My girls were never treated this way, but they noticed it when they went back to the States for college; They couldn't believe the "ego" and "self centered, inward focused" trips that some students were on.