About marriage

[germdoc]

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Dumas

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does a woman want?
Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Anonymous

'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'
Henny Youngman

'I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.'
Sam Kinison

'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.'
James Holt McGavran

'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'
Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
Anonymous

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Milton Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Anonymous

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'

[pierhogunn]

there are two theories about arguing with your wife, and both of them are wrong
Someone from this forum said long ago

[TB Roye]

Here is one that is on the back of BCRA Vintage Midget shirt. "I live with fear and danger every day, sometimes I leave her to go racing."

Tom

[bthere]

Our secret to a successful marriage is that she makes all the minor decisions and I make all the major decisions. This makes 25 years and no major decisions.

Don't know the originator

[Richard in Smithville]

You know, I never spoke to my wife all weekend. We weren't having a spat or anything....I just couldn't get a word in edgewise

[crokett]

Re: arguing with your wife -

If you are arguing with your wife and want to change her mind, don't use facts, change her feelings. For you, 2+2 is always 4. For her, it rarely ever is. If you want it to equal 4 for her, you have to make her feel good about it.