So now that my heart has stopped beating a million beats per second I think that perhaps I can sit here for a moment and relate to you the excitement that just took place at my house. As I have probably mentioned before the kid is grown and moved out so me and my wife live alone now in our house. I think it is important to make mention that we do live in a rather rural area only blocks from the local High school.
With all that here we were tonight after just finishing dinner and I was sitting in my recliner while the wife was in the front room surfing the internet. I have set my chair to where I look at the TV at a slight angle and there is a couch to my right along a wall and I am probably 12 feet from the TV. So like I said, there I was watching TV when I caught something out of my peripheral vision you know how it is when you just kind of see some movement. I drifted my eyes down towards the movement and I just kind of froze for a second while my brain interpreted what I was seeing. It seems as though there was a young probably teenage opossums head sticking out from the far bottom end of the couch! Now you have to understand this is not by no means a common occurrence neither at my house nor any neighbors that I know of so I did what any man in my position at that time would have done, I yelled rather loudly “Cindy!” (My wife’s name if you could not have guessed.) She responded in her normal manner with a “Yes?” so not wanting to sugar coat the situation I again loudly informed her that there is a Opossum under her couch! I then heard the sound of the Bi-Fold doors of the computer room shutting as she decided all further communications could be accomplished through wooden doors.
Now begins the discussion of what we are to do with this new house guest and how in the world he could have gotten in the house in the first place! Well ok, you got me, the discussion on the how was much later but there were some passing comments made in reference. Well I don’t know how many people have seen an Opossum up close but they look like a large Rat with allot more teeth. So once I coxed the wife out of the front room I decided to arm us against this critter so with that I took up a broom and let my wife have the sponge mop I on one end of the couch and her on the other. Now the plan, what are we to do about this situation I was asked and I must answer quite frankly that at that time I did not have a clue. So there we stand her on one end and me on the other when all of a sudden she says “Let’s call my Dad!” well knowing her 70 year old father as well as I do the first question I have is why? So she says “Well you know, my dad’s an opossum kind of guy!” Huh? What is an “Opossum kind of guy?” so as we stand there and debate that question I formulated a plan.
The Plan; so we gather boxes and different things and built a makeshift corridor from the couch to the back door. I was to move the couch and use the broom to scoot it out the door while she helped heard the critter with the mop. I moved the couch but not enough to uncover the critter but there it was, I could plainly see its hind quarters and its long rat like tail. As I stood there pondering my next move I asked the wife if she wanted to have a look and I was turned down flatly. One of the requirements I had set prior to all this was that my wife was not allowed to scream through all of this. So now, I informed her that I was going to jerk the couch from atop the animal and chances were it would move towards her. Well before that thought had a good chance to sink in I grabbed the couch and gave it a pull. The plan was working! The critter took off towards the back door but ducked under another chair and yes you guessed it, someone who shall remain nameless was not doing their herding job! And I may also add there were several loud yelps that were let out by that same person against earlier agreements. I did not want the situation to get worse so I shoved the broom under the chair and out he came and right out the back door, man I don’t think I ever closed a door that fast!
So here we are trying to catch our breath and put the room back to order now discussing how the dang thing got in the house in the first place and best we can figure is it got into the garage and then into the house while we were unloading the car or such and had left the door open. Guess there’s a lesson there.
The wife is expecting not to sleep well tonight so that’s pretty good for me as she can stand guard.
With all that here we were tonight after just finishing dinner and I was sitting in my recliner while the wife was in the front room surfing the internet. I have set my chair to where I look at the TV at a slight angle and there is a couch to my right along a wall and I am probably 12 feet from the TV. So like I said, there I was watching TV when I caught something out of my peripheral vision you know how it is when you just kind of see some movement. I drifted my eyes down towards the movement and I just kind of froze for a second while my brain interpreted what I was seeing. It seems as though there was a young probably teenage opossums head sticking out from the far bottom end of the couch! Now you have to understand this is not by no means a common occurrence neither at my house nor any neighbors that I know of so I did what any man in my position at that time would have done, I yelled rather loudly “Cindy!” (My wife’s name if you could not have guessed.) She responded in her normal manner with a “Yes?” so not wanting to sugar coat the situation I again loudly informed her that there is a Opossum under her couch! I then heard the sound of the Bi-Fold doors of the computer room shutting as she decided all further communications could be accomplished through wooden doors.
Now begins the discussion of what we are to do with this new house guest and how in the world he could have gotten in the house in the first place! Well ok, you got me, the discussion on the how was much later but there were some passing comments made in reference. Well I don’t know how many people have seen an Opossum up close but they look like a large Rat with allot more teeth. So once I coxed the wife out of the front room I decided to arm us against this critter so with that I took up a broom and let my wife have the sponge mop I on one end of the couch and her on the other. Now the plan, what are we to do about this situation I was asked and I must answer quite frankly that at that time I did not have a clue. So there we stand her on one end and me on the other when all of a sudden she says “Let’s call my Dad!” well knowing her 70 year old father as well as I do the first question I have is why? So she says “Well you know, my dad’s an opossum kind of guy!” Huh? What is an “Opossum kind of guy?” so as we stand there and debate that question I formulated a plan.
The Plan; so we gather boxes and different things and built a makeshift corridor from the couch to the back door. I was to move the couch and use the broom to scoot it out the door while she helped heard the critter with the mop. I moved the couch but not enough to uncover the critter but there it was, I could plainly see its hind quarters and its long rat like tail. As I stood there pondering my next move I asked the wife if she wanted to have a look and I was turned down flatly. One of the requirements I had set prior to all this was that my wife was not allowed to scream through all of this. So now, I informed her that I was going to jerk the couch from atop the animal and chances were it would move towards her. Well before that thought had a good chance to sink in I grabbed the couch and gave it a pull. The plan was working! The critter took off towards the back door but ducked under another chair and yes you guessed it, someone who shall remain nameless was not doing their herding job! And I may also add there were several loud yelps that were let out by that same person against earlier agreements. I did not want the situation to get worse so I shoved the broom under the chair and out he came and right out the back door, man I don’t think I ever closed a door that fast!
So here we are trying to catch our breath and put the room back to order now discussing how the dang thing got in the house in the first place and best we can figure is it got into the garage and then into the house while we were unloading the car or such and had left the door open. Guess there’s a lesson there.
The wife is expecting not to sleep well tonight so that’s pretty good for me as she can stand guard.
My wife didn't know what to do, so he grabbed some kind of club, and went down looking for it. It wasn't long until he found it, and killed it with the club. I found out about all the excitement when I got home from work.
She made me put it outside.
I hear you. Here it really depends on who's doing the glancing. I generally put things back where they belong. We do try not to harm things. Sometimes this just isn't possible or wise. All things can act very odd when dazed, trapped and confused. This includes Wives and Fabio types. 
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