Foster Son Update

[ssmith1627]

Hey guys, I had mentioned the situation before with my wife and I regarding out foster son so I wanted to post an update.

We were in court the past 2 days just really observing the proceedings. The parents have some serious issues and it doesn't seem likely they will ever regain custody of the child -- plus they don't have custody of any of their other children. There are three other parties who have been involved in his life, only one of which was a blood relative, the paternal grandmother.

They went through the whole sage in court this week and the end result was that the judge dismissed all three of the petitioners. That leaves him in state's custody for now which means we get to keep him. As far as I know, the parents have the remaining 3 1/2 months to get their act together. So far they haven't done one thing to make progress on the court's plan for them to get the child back. The mother is now in jail on new charges and the dad has legal charges pending as well.

I hate to gloat because this is a miserable situation all the way around. We just feel the child finally has a stable home with us for the first time in his life and that he shouldn't be put through anything else. Yesterday was a huge relief and we feel like we have a good shot at being able to adopt him now.

Anyway, thanks for listening !

Steve

[gad5264]

Steve, I wish you well in your hopes to finally adopt your foster son. It sure sounds like he is going to be better off with you and your wife in his life.

[ironhat]

Blessings for you and your wife for what you are doing to give him a normal home.

[cgallery]

I think it is pretty routine to be happy that you get to keep providing a safe, loving home for the kid while at the same time being sad that the parents can't get their lives together.

[Ed62]

Steve,

I remember your earlier thread on the subject. It's never a good situation when it happens, but hopefully, you'll have the chance to continue to give a good home to a child who desperately needs it. We're pulling for you.

Ed

[radhak]

This phase might well be the most unnerving in your (both) lives, till the point you are able to complete the adoption, as you'd never know if the 'other parties' might do just enough to keep the whole thing hanging. I don't mean that in a discouraging tone - more like 'help you be prepared'.

A kid having parents who are so totally worthless that he needs to look elsewhere for love and affection is not so bad.
Worse would be legalities that mistake 'birth family is best' as a good policy. IOW, i am happy that the others' petitions are dismissed, at least for now. After reading your description about them, it's a great thing.

Now that you have met that family and know how much better you'd be for the kid, you should take genuine pleasure from that fact. It would have been much worse for you if the birth mother had been trying her real best to get the kid but did not due to circumstances - that could kill you with guilt.

And yes, you should gloat, be happy, and celebrate. And hug your son for us.

[goslin23]

I grew up with a foster sister and it was a wonderful experience. I considered her my sister and didn't treat her any differently than my biological sister or brother. My mom is a very special lady and gave a lot of time to help people in need. I applaud your family for welcoming in this child.

-=gos=-

[mater]

This is a sad situation and I hope things work out the best for you and the child.

[crokett]

Steve,

I really hope things work out for your foster son and you. My parents adopted 6 kids and fostered many many more. Please keep us updated in the future.

[ssmith1627]

That's what we do as well -- treat him as a son. I don't know any other way to act around him. He's totally bonded to us and I'd be destroyed if that was severed.

We'll see now if the dad is pressured by the grandmother or others -- I know he's already been told by the grandmother that everything is on him now. He might do enough to keep this going and drag it out. It's hard when you're the foster parents because you only get bits and pieces of information and not the whole picture. The case worker said the dad had a month to get these things done but I thought he had another 3 1/2 months. Hopefully information will continue to come in to us so we can see what the next step is.

I really wonder if the grandmother was relieved. She has another situation in her home that is a huge burden for her and her husband and I don't see how in the world they could have brought a 2 year old into that home.

Thanks for all the wonderful thoughts guys. It's truly appreciated.

Steve