You might be a Texan if...

[BrazosJake]

Daughter sent me this. She said she immediately thought of her grandfather and me when she read #14.

Hint: Miami, Texas, is not pronounced the same as Miami, FL.

1. You can properly pronounce Corsicana, Palestine, Decatur, Wichita Falls, San Antonio, Burnet, Boerne, Nacogdoches, Mexia, Waco, Amarillo, Miami, Gruene, Ochiltree, and Waxahachie.
2. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.
3. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
4. You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.
5. Stores don't have bags, they have sacks.
6. You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
7. You measure distance in minutes.
8. Little Smokies are something you serve only for special occasions.
9. You go to the lake because you think it is like going to the ocean.
10. You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.
11. You know cow-pies are not made of beef.
12. Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.
13. You have known someone who has had a belt buckle bigger than your fist.
14. You get movie rentals, gasoline, barbeque, pampers, ammunition, beer, and bait from the same store.
15. Your "place at the lake" has wheels under it.
16. A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol; a Ford F350 4x4 is.
17. You know everything goes better with Ranch dressin'.
18. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply.
19. You actually understand this and you are "fixin' to" send it to your friends.
20. Finally, you are 100% Texan if you have ever heard this conversation:
" You wanna coke?" "Yeah."
"What kind?" "Dr. Pepper."

[gsmittle]

What!???

You mean #11 isn't beef????

When I was moving to Austin for grad school I had a pickup pass me outside of Waco with this bumper sticker: "Beautify Texas, put a Yankee on a bus."

Another piece of culture shock: at the end of the evening news, the TV station would scroll the scores of every high school ball game (yes, that means football) in the state, and I mean every. Musta took five minutes.

Did you know there are only five sports in Texas: Pro football, College football, High School football, pee-wee football, and summer football?

Why did God make armadillos?


So we could have 'possum on the half shell....


OK, I'm out of Texas jokes.....

g.

[Black wallnut]

How do you tell if a texan gal is level headed?

She has chew dribbling out of both corners of her mouth!

[Mrs. Wallnut]

How do you tell if a texan gal is level headed?

She has chew dribbling out of both corners of her mouth!

I AM NOT GOING TO START CHEWING

[JeffW]

I think more of these apply to Pappy instead on me. LOL

[Ed62]

I AM NOT GOING TO START CHEWING

Aw, come on. We'd like pics of it.

Ed

[docrowan]

All but #1 and #13 apply here in small-town Mississippi. I went to a funeral three weeks ago where the deceased's brother was in overalls, along with about a half-dozen other visitors.

[MilDoc]

I crack up every time LOML, a native Texan, says she's "fixin' to" do something.

But then, she cracks up every time I, a native Pennsylvanian, say I'm going to "red up" the house.

[crokett]

But then, she cracks up every time I, a native Pennsylvanian, say I'm going to "red up" the house.

My mom is a native from PA and I've never heard her say that. What does that mean?

[MilDoc]

"red up" = "clean up." I've been told it's a short form of "ready up," but who knows.

Is your mom from Eastern Pa.? Also been told it's a Western Pa. thing.

[crokett]

She's from the Philly suburbs, so yeah eastern PA.

[ironhat]

I'm originally from western PA (Johnstown) and it was a main-stay of the vocabulary there. Here in south-central (Chambersburg) and close to the Mason-Dixon Line it's still pretty popular. I don't know any 'Easterners'.

Later,
Chiz

[Pappy]

I think more of these apply to Pappy instead on me. LOL

Not true.

#15 - I don't have a place at the lake, it's parked at the end of the house!

#16 - I DRIVE A DODGE RAM!

[tedkitch]

Having been born at Fort Hood and growing up in Copperas Cove (otherwise known as the home of MilDoc), I can really relate to this. I dated a girl from Mexia, went to college in San Angelo and graduated from UT at Austin. Living here in PA is totally different.

There were a couple that I think that they left out though:
1. If it has ever poured rain on one side of the street while the other is bone dry and sunny, that's Texas.
2. If they close down the school because they don't want to pay to heat it, that's Texas. I had 4 snow days growing up, but never saw any snow.
3. If you sleep with your boots on, then that's Texas.
4. If you know why they call Sweetwater, Texas by it's name.

#20 is really tough to get out of my system. I love it here in PA when I ask what kind of Coke they have. They look at me like I'm stupid. (I'm not stupid, I'm just from Texas?)

Another one has to be saying "Yes, Maam" and "Yes Sir". I've actually had ladies up here in PA scold me for saying "Yes, Maam". They always say, "I'm not that old, so don't call me maam!"

[Rob3100]

Another one has to be saying "Yes, Maam" and "Yes Sir". I've actually had ladies up here in PA scold me for saying "Yes, Maam". They always say, "I'm not that old, so don't call me maam!"

I've had that happen as well during my travels. My stock retort is, "I find it best to show proper respect to a lady, until she proves otherwise." It's never failed to end the issue.