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My two year old asks to sit in time out. Apparently she's missed the concept. 
Any ideas on how to make it less fun so she doesn't want to be there?
Any ideas on how to make it less fun so she doesn't want to be there?
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David
The chief cause of failure in this life is giving up what you want most for what you want at the moment. -
Depends. Where does she sit and what can she do?
Either that or she justs likes the silence ...
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Well... When I was a kid we didn't have "time out". We used to have to "stand in the corner", that wasn't much fun. My father told us kids, when he was a boy, his mother would make him kneel on rice. He pretty much wanted to avoid that....There will be no parking in my shopComment
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We send out kids to stand in the corner....he used to sit with his back against the wall in the hall and we could see him.
he started to ask to or didn't have a problem with being sent....hence the standing in the corner. Then I'd also angerly use a corner upstairs by himself in the 'mostly' dark....that gave a quick end to 'wanting' to go to time-out.
One of those times when they make you laugh when you're angry but you can't let them know it.Eric
Be Kind OnlineComment
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Yeah, mine does that too, sometimes.
He's not allowed to play with anything while in time out and he must sit facing the wall or corner. We also ignore him while he's in time out. If he wants to go into time out, we ask him what he's done wrong, and we usually end up saying something like, "Mommy & daddy decide when you go to time out and when you don't. I think we can skip time out for that this time -- I'm glad you were honest with us about what you did wrong. If you want to sit in the corner and pretend, that's up to you. But I want to go outside and play and I wish you'd come with me..." -- something to change the subject.
If he disobeys the rules of time out, then he's likely to get another time out unless he apologizes and obeys the rules.
Sometimes he just sits there and doesn't mind it at all. But to get out of time out he always needs to apologize for what he's done and give us hugs. In any case he's usually better or calmed down at the end of the two minutes.
It bugs me to no end how they can always make you laugh when you're mad at them!!online at http://www.theFrankes.com
while ( !( succeed = try() ) ) ;
"Life is short, Art long, Occasion sudden and dangerous, Experience deceitful, and Judgment difficult." -HippocratesComment
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I have been trying - insidiously - to get my wife to give me a time out; something like - 'okay mister, you are on a time-out for 6 hours - into the garage, and don't come back till the 6 hours are up!'
I wish she would get with the program; doesn't she know what sort of agony it would be for me, to be away from her and the kids and all things nice, in that garage full of tools and wires and smelling of wood and glue and oh that unbearable noise of the router spinning and the tablesaw ripping, and, and,...oh, sorry, I started day-dreaming...
As for your daughter, reminds of when mine was two and the babysitter tried to scare her with stories of how school would be, and how they would give her 'homework' to do; she cried that night about having to do 'homework', but, every night thereafter would sit down with paper-and-pencil and scribble away to glory, doing her 'homework' gleefully.
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
- AristotleComment
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As my two girls got older, time outs were less and less effective. What worked for us was a loss of a privilidge. They would lose a cetain toy or something like that. Now that they are 14 and 12, losing stuff( or not going out somewhere, etc) still works.From the "deep south" part of Canada
Richard in Smithville
http://richardspensandthings.blogspot.com/Comment
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We use a tall bar size stool from our island counter and put it in the middle of the kitchen floor. The idea is she can't touch anything closeby to distract her and she has to apologize at the end of it for what she did wrong. Not I'm sorry mommy / daddy but i'm sorry for ___________. We picked that up from a parents magazine article .... one minute for each year of age and the apology for the behavior at the end to reinforce what they did wrong. Have to admit it works really well ...
Much different from when I was a kid and Mom would chase me around all over the place with her wooden spoons to warm up a specifc part of my backside!!!Comment
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From a Pediatric perspective, "time out" time should = the child's age, but usually is useless after age 5-7 years. And should be done immediately, no 'warnings', and in such a place that the child can do nothing else but look at a wall. Quiet must be the rule.
The biggest mistake parents make is warn warn warn. No. Do it immediately. Be persistant and consistent. That is, same parental response every time, both parents. Give in once and you have taught your child that "sometimes" they get away with it.
Yeah, I've seen kids over the past 30+ years who figured that out. Bad news: requires more persisance. Good news: usually pretty smart kids.
Does it always work? No. But do not give up.
Gee, sounds just like us big folks, huh?
SWMBO figured that out fast. Darn!Last edited by Guest; 04-20-2007, 08:24 PM.Comment
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We only use "time out" as a calm down mechanism - it never worked for us as a discipline.
In fact, we put ourselves in timeout more often than the boys.
Every parent should read the book "Parenting with Love and Logic" - it has fundamentally changed the way we parent.
Even if you don't agree with everything the authors say - there is lots of good stuff in there.
I highly recommend it.Comment
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Thanks for the suggestions, all.
What I have discovered works is physical separation - that is she has to go into another room. So I think what we will try is to put her down at the end of the hall and ignore her. She does not like being ignored.David
The chief cause of failure in this life is giving up what you want most for what you want at the moment.Comment
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It's a tough row to hoe when you discipline without anger, usng logic instead, as well as consistency and a united front. We had a strong willed daughter who pushed every rule to see if it would stick and I have to say that it sometimes made us miss out on some things. She went on to make some poor choices but now that she's 30 and has a nice family her attitude to her 'mean parents' is, "Don't move that. We'll all come over and clean up the yard and get that done in two minutes. You have to take better care of yourselves". Boy, it sure is nice to have her back and the road was long but *well* worth it. (climbing down from his soapbox and back to the cheap seats)
Later,
ChizBlessings,
Chiz
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