The following letter was sent to a long time patron of a local Wal-Mart Store. After receiving this letter, she vowed that she would NEVER take her husband shopping with her again!!!
January 12, 2007
Re: Mr. Bill Fenton: Multiple Complaints
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been
causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this type
of behavior and have considered banning the entire family from
shopping in any of our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton
have been compiled and are listed below.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly
put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares
to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
restrooms.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
Code 3 in house wares..... and watched what happened.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of
M&M's on layaway.
6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a
carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told
other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the
bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins
to cry and asks 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
mirror, and picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department,
asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly
humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna
look" using different size funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse
through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud
speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's
those voices again!!!!"
(And, last, but not least!)
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the
door, waited awhile; and then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet
paper in here!"
January 12, 2007
Re: Mr. Bill Fenton: Multiple Complaints
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been
causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this type
of behavior and have considered banning the entire family from
shopping in any of our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton
have been compiled and are listed below.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly
put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares
to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
restrooms.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
Code 3 in house wares..... and watched what happened.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of
M&M's on layaway.
6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a
carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told
other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the
bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins
to cry and asks 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
mirror, and picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department,
asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly
humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna
look" using different size funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse
through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud
speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's
those voices again!!!!"
(And, last, but not least!)
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the
door, waited awhile; and then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet
paper in here!"
I knew a Boatswain's Mate that used to start talking to manequin's when his wife dragged him out clothes shopping. Pat
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