Calc joke

[Anna]

e^x (that is, the mathematical constant "e" raised to the power of "x") went to a party. He stood around morosely in a corner. The host came up to him and said "why don't you mix in with the other guests? Maybe that would cheer you up." He replied, "It's no use. If I integrate, I'll still be the same."

<There are others, but they're too painful, even for me. >

[TheRic]

GROAN!!!!!!!!!!!

And the non engineers are scratching their heads!!

[Grampy122]

Not true

The intergral of e^x is e^x + C

[Anna]

The intergral of e^x is e^x + C

Heh. But zero is still a C. Okay, just for you, what is the integral of (1/cabin)d(cabin)?





















log(cabin) + C = houseboat

<told you it's painful>

[gsmittle]

Owwwwww!!

Anna, you're giving me a headache!

I'm an Algebra I dropout...

g.

[Kristofor]

What favorite pirate saying is the derivative of (r^3)/3?





















R dR R

Heck, that one was even on the Simpson's but I do remember it from calc too.

[Alex Franke]

LOL

More! More!

[dlminehart]

You guys need a pi in the face!

[leehljp]

My favorite one is not calc, but it is math. Simple but confuses some:

What is the difference between 1/2 square inch and 1/2 inch square?
Ans: The difference is 1/2 inch square!

But the difference in 1 square inch and 1 inch square is Nothing!

[sacherjj]

12 + 144 + 20 + 3 sqrt(4)
------------------------- + 5 x 11 = 9^2 + 0
7

A dozen, a gross, and a score,
Plus three times the square root of four,
Divided by seven,
Plus five times eleven,
Is nine squared, and not a bit more


My two favorite math related jokes:
How can you tell a sailor was a mathematician?
Instead of "aye, aye, captain!" they say "negative one, captain!"

A mathematician and a computer scientist work side by side in the basement of a building. Every day, they go up to the second floor at 10am for coffee. One day at 10am, they are both on the first floor and leave to get their coffee. The computer scientist hops in the elevator and goes to the second floor for his coffee. The mathematician, however, gets in the elevator, goes to the basement to reduce the problem to a problem with a known solution, and then goes to the second floor for his coffee.


Did you hear about the mathematician that was constipated?
He had to work it out with a pencil...


Three Statisticians went on a hunting trip. They came over a rise and saw a rabbit sitting on the next hill.

The first one aimed his rifle and said "Just watch, I'll get him", but he shot way too low with the bullet landing well short of the rabbit.

The second one said "Ok he's mine now, I'll get him", but he aimed way too high with the bullet passing well over the rabbits head.

The third statistician immediately leapt in the air with excitement and cried out "We got him!".


Thats all I got...

[Alex Franke]

lim    sqrt (3) = 2
3->4

Also...
Asked how his pet parrot died, a mathematician answered: "Polynomial, thus polygon."

[Anna]

Just remembered an old statistician joke:

A statistician is someone who puts an ice pack on his head, his feet in scalding water, and says, "On average, I feel fine."





One last calc joke:

A function was walking down an alley and meets a differential operator.

Differential Operator: Get out of my way or I'll differentiate you until you're zero!

Function: Go ahead, I'm e^x.

-------

Same function was walking down an alley and meets another differential operator.

Differential Operator: Get out of my way or I'll differentiate you until you're zero!

Function: Go ahead, I'm e^x.

Differential Operator: Too bad, I'm d/dy.


<That one really cracked me up, but then I laughed when someone said, in casual conversation, "For every epsilon greater than zero....">

[WoodButcher26]

I thought I'd been out of calc too long until I saw these...now I know it hasn't been long enough. Bad thing is I'm taking them to work tomorrow, I know about 20 folks that will be chuckling all day over them.


Kim