A guy from Abilene, Texas dies and...

[Texas splinter]

Here's one for all you Texans and other assorted Cowboy fans:

A guy from Abilene dies and is sent to ****.

He had been a horrible man his entire life.
The devil puts him to work breaking up rocks
with a sledge hammer.
To make it worse, he cranks up the
temperature and the humidity.
After a couple of days, the devil checks in on his
victim to see if he is suffering adequately.
The devil is aghast as the Abilenian is happily
swinging his hammer and whistling a happy tune.

The devil walks up to him and says,
"I don't understand this.
I've turned the heat way up, it's humid,
you're crushing rocks; why are you so happy?"
The Abilenian, with a big smile, looks at the devil
and replies, "This is great! It reminds me of August in
Abilene. Hot, humid, a good place to work.
It reminds me of home. This is fantastic!"
The devil, extremely perplexed, walks away
to ponder the Abilenians remarks.

Then he decides to drop the temperature,
send down a driving rain and torrential wind.
Soon, **** is a wet, muddy mess.
Walking in mud up to his knees the Abilenian is
happily slogging through the mud pushing a
wheelbarrow full of crushed rocks.

Again, the devil asks how he can be happy
in such conditions.
The Abilene man replies, "This is great!
Just like April in Abilene.
It reminds me of working out in the yard
with spring planting!"

The devil is now completely baffled but more
determined to make the Abilenian suffer.
He makes the temperature plummet.
Suddenly **** is blanketed in snow and ice.
Confident that this will surely make the Abilene
man unhappy, the devil checks in on him.
He is again aghast at what he sees.
The Abilenian is dancing, singing, and twirling
his sledgehammer as he cavorts in glee.
"How can you be so happy?
Don't you know its 40 below zero!? "
screams the devil.
Jumping up and down, the Abilenian
throws a snowball at the devil and yells,
"****'s frozen over!
This means the Cowboys
won the SUPERBOWL!!!!

[Ed62]

Love it. I'll be sending it on to one of my sons, but the name will be changed to the Cubs.

Ed

[crokett]

Uhh, Ed, why would a Cubs fan live in Texas?

[WoodButcher26]

Love it for multiple reasons:

1. I've spent a fair amount of time near Abilene, and agree wholeheartedly with the weather assessments.

2. There may be hope for my Cowboys...

[Pappy]

To quote Jimmy Dean, "West Texas, the only place where you can stand in mud up to your a** and have dust blow in your eyes!"

[Ed62]

Uhh, Ed, why would a Cubs fan live in Texas?

He won't be living in Texas when I get done with it.

Ed

[tedkitch]

I spent a few years (during college) in San Angelo (south of Abeline) and man that weather is something else out there. When growing up in Central Texas, you are misled to believe that the year is 45 weeks of heat, 4 weeks of fall and the 1 cold week where you have to use a jacket. West Texas is nothing like that!