Secret Diaries of Cats and Dogs

[Greg in Maryland]

Excerpts from a Dog's diary

Dog...

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:

Day 683 of my captivity:

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded! The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe....... for now...

[JR]

LOL! I'm certain it's true...

JR

[Ed62]

Whoever wrote that knows what he's talking about.

Ed

[TB Roye]

Our Cat AJ (named after a retired race drive) has that attitude and behavior. He just tolerates us as we provide a warm place to sleep, our bed, living room couch and his own bathroom(2 bath house) which he allows me to share on occasion. He is loving when he wants something and will take you arm off if you bother him. Cats are different than dogs. One thing I will say, We got AJ at 6 weeks old and he grew up with two dogs and bonded with them and has some behaviors like them. Before the dogs passed away he was their buddy, go for a walk he would follow, Take dump in the back yard 3 distinct piles, drinks out of the toilet. In nice weather will lay with the current dog in the back yard. The one saving grace he gets along with my 2 1/2 year old grand daughter and the other 3 grandkids when he has enough he hides, no scratching or biting them, me it is a knockdown drag out war. But then he will come out in the shop and sit on the work bench and watch for hours as long as no power tools are used.

Tom

[backpacker85]

LOML's cat wrote that!!

My dog Shadow told me he saw the cat walking on her keyboard the other day, and just HAD to snitch.....his favorite thing!