What You Don't Know About Curtain Rods

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  • cabinetman
    Gone but not Forgotten RIP
    • Jun 2006
    • 15216
    • So. Florida
    • Delta

    #1

    What You Don't Know About Curtain Rods

    The Curtain Rods

    She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes,
    Crates, and suitcases.

    On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her
    things.

    On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their
    beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music,
    and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of
    Chardonnay.

    When she had finished, she went into each and every room and
    deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the
    hollow of the curtain rods.

    She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

    When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss
    for the first few days.

    Then slowly, the house began to smell.

    They tried everything; cleaning and mopping and airing the place
    out.
    Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam
    cleaned.
    Air fresheners were hung everywhere.

    Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during
    which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to
    replace the expensive wool carpeting.

    Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit.

    Repairmen refused to work in the house....The maid quit...

    Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided
    to move.

    A month later, even though they had cut their price in half,
    they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and
    eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

    Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to
    purchase a new place.

    The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things
    were going.

    He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened
    politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to
    reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back...

    Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed
    on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth... But
    only if she were to sign the papers that very day.

    She agreed, and within the hour, his lawyers delivered the
    paperwork.

    A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as
    they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home...
  • Pappy
    The Full Monte
    • Dec 2002
    • 10490
    • San Marcos, TX, USA.
    • BT3000 (x2)

    #2
    ...including the curtains and rods!
    Don, aka Pappy,

    Wise men talk because they have something to say,
    Fools because they have to say something.
    Plato

    Comment

    • Wood_workur
      Veteran Member
      • Aug 2005
      • 1914
      • Ohio
      • Ryobi bt3100-1

      #3
      that is a good one.
      Alex

      Comment

      • mater
        Veteran Member
        • Jan 2004
        • 4197
        • SC, USA.

        #4
        Good one.
        Ken aka "mater"

        " People may doubt what you say but they will never doubt what you do "

        Ken's Den

        Comment

        • pierhogunn
          Veteran Member
          • Sep 2003
          • 1567
          • Harrisburg, NC, USA.

          #5
          actually, I once read in a book about revenge best served behind walls about putting frozen squid behind the sheetrock of a new home of people that have wronged you, supposed to be a reall "interesting" olfactory offense...
          It's Like I've always said, it's amazing what an agnostic can't do if he dosent know whether he believes in anything or not

          Monty Python's Flying Circus

          Dan in Harrisburg, NC

          Comment

          • dale
            Established Member
            • Feb 2004
            • 147
            • Mesa, AZ, USA.
            • BTS-15

            #6
            After we moved into our house 11 years ago, there would be a funny odor in one of the bedrooms--sometimes. We never figured it out, but it finally went away.
            I really am going to make something one of these days.

            Comment

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