How Men & Women Shower

[Roger on the Rock]

This will make you cry.....

How to Shower Like a Woman
1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups
4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins
6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red
9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
10. Rinse conditioner off hair.
11. Shave armpits and legs.
12. Turn off shower.
13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex..
14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.
16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any
exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.
4. Get in the shower.
5. Wash your face
6. Wash your armpits.
7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse off.
8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.
9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
11. Shampoo your hair.
12. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
13. Pee.
14. Rinse off and get out of shower.
15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
16. Admire wiener size in mirror again.
17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
19. Throw wet towel on bed.

If there is anyone one among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something very wrong with you.

[Wood_workur]

Very funny.

[bhbuster]

woo - woo!

this was a good one!

[just4funsies]

That is hysterical, but I wonder if this embellished version isn't even closer to the truth...

How To Shower Like a Man

1. Walk out of clothes while heading to the shower, leaving them scattered in your wake.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, yank off her towel, and use it to pop her on the ass.
3. Look at your wrinkled old physique in the mirror. Remember before you had that beer belly, and you didn't need to use the mirror just to SEE your weiner. Sigh, and then scratch your ass.
4. Get in the shower. Slip on the tile, and barely avoid breaking your fat ass.
5. Forget to wash your face
6. Wash your armpits.
7. Blow your nose in your hands and look closely at the results before letting the water rinse off.
8. Fart, and laugh at how it smells, even in the shower.
9. Spend majority of time washing privates (by feel alone) and surrounding area.
10. Wash your butt, if you can reach it. Otherwise, stand with your ass facing the shower head, and pray that the water will somehow find the right spots on its own.
11. Shampoo your hair, if you still have any.
12. Smile into the shower stream, so you won't have to brush your teeth later.
13. Pee (and try not to crap).
14. Get out of shower. Upon feeling that soapy, greasy feeling "down there", realize that you forgot to rinse off. Get back in the shower and finish.
15. Dry off whatever you can reach. Notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub, but ignore it, because Mother Nature will dry it up eventually.
16. Look in mirror again, hoping that you somehow lost 20 pounds while you were in the shower.
17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat and towel on the floor, light and fan on.
18. Return to bedroom, naked and dripping wet, letting all the steam from the bathroom into the bedroom.
19. Jump full weight into the bed, bouncing wife out and onto the floor. Then wonder out loud why she doesn't "want any of this" tonight...

[Roger on the Rock]

That may be the "over 50" version. I'd like to see the equivilant of the woman's "over 50" shower!!

[Mrs. Wallnut]

All I know is that I am not over 50 but some of those things would be to make sure that you avoid mirrors all together. And that no matter how fast you are in the shower you will still have to hurry because the baby is waking up and starting to cry.

but that is just my 2 cents worth.