Y'all Don't NEVER Wanna Choke In A Southern Restaurant because....

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  • JSUPreston
    Veteran Member
    • Dec 2005
    • 1189
    • Montgomery, AL.
    • Delta 36-979 w/Biesemyere fence kit making it a 36-982. Previous saw was BT3100-1.

    #1

    Y'all Don't NEVER Wanna Choke In A Southern Restaurant because....

    Two hillbillies Ed and Red walk into a bar. While having a shot of whiskey, they talk about their favorite NASCAR drivers and their moonshine operation.

    Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.

    One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, "Kin ya swallar?"

    The woman shakes her head no.

    "Kin ya breathe ettall?"

    The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no. The hillbilly then calmly walks over to the woman, lifts up the back of her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.

    The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.

    As she begins to breathe again, the hillbilly walks slowly back to the bar.

    His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heerd tell of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver,' but I ain't never seed nobody do it!"
    "It's a dog eat dog world out there, and I'm wearing Milk-Bone underwear."- Norm (from Cheers)

    Eat beef-because the west wasn't won on salad.
  • AlanJ
    Established Member
    • Feb 2006
    • 150
    • Rochester, MN
    • BT3100

    #2
    That's a good one! Luckily I didn't have anything in my mouth for once.
    Alan

    Comment

    • LarryG
      The Full Monte
      • May 2004
      • 6693
      • Off The Back
      • Powermatic PM2000, BT3100-1

      #3
      I don't get what's funny about this story.

      I thought occasionally getting an opportunity to lick the fanny of an attractive woman in a restaurant was one of the joys of living here in the South. You know, along with world-class BBQ, rootin' for the Braves, and moonshine.

      Have I been wrong, all these many years?
      Larry

      Comment

      • JSUPreston
        Veteran Member
        • Dec 2005
        • 1189
        • Montgomery, AL.
        • Delta 36-979 w/Biesemyere fence kit making it a 36-982. Previous saw was BT3100-1.

        #4
        Larry, how 'bout licking the fanny while it has BBQ sauce on it?

        Uh, never mind. Don't think SWMBO will go for that.
        "It's a dog eat dog world out there, and I'm wearing Milk-Bone underwear."- Norm (from Cheers)

        Eat beef-because the west wasn't won on salad.

        Comment

        • Jim Boyd
          Veteran Member
          • Dec 2002
          • 1766
          • Montgomery, Texas, USA.
          • Delta Unisaw

          #5
          Originally posted by LarryG
          I don't get what's funny about this story.

          I thought occasionally getting an opportunity to lick the fanny of an attractive woman in a restaurant was one of the joys of living here in the South. You know, along with world-class BBQ, rootin' for the Braves, and moonshine.

          Have I been wrong, all these many years?
          Yes you have been wrong. NEVER root for the Braves
          Jim in Texas and Sicko Ryobi Cult Member ©

          Comment

          • RayintheUK
            Veteran Member
            • Sep 2003
            • 1792
            • Crowborough, East Sussex, United Kingdom.
            • Ryobi BT3000

            #6
            As Frank (Everybody Loves Raymond) would say: "Holy Cr*p!"

            Great joke, but - LarryG and JSUPreston - "fanny" has a completely different meaning in the UK!

            Ray.
            Did I offend you? Click here.

            Comment

            • JR
              The Full Monte
              • Feb 2004
              • 5636
              • Eugene, OR
              • BT3000

              #7
              Originally posted by RayintheUK
              Great joke, but - LarryG and JSUPreston - "fanny" has a completely different meaning in the UK!
              Which reminds me...

              Nick Faldo's caddy, who now works for someone else, goes by the name Fanny. I always thought that a bit odd...

              JR
              JR

              Comment

              • JSUPreston
                Veteran Member
                • Dec 2005
                • 1189
                • Montgomery, AL.
                • Delta 36-979 w/Biesemyere fence kit making it a 36-982. Previous saw was BT3100-1.

                #8
                Ray, may I ask what it means? I know the expression "pinch a ***" is completely different, so I can only imagine.
                "It's a dog eat dog world out there, and I'm wearing Milk-Bone underwear."- Norm (from Cheers)

                Eat beef-because the west wasn't won on salad.

                Comment

                • JR
                  The Full Monte
                  • Feb 2004
                  • 5636
                  • Eugene, OR
                  • BT3000

                  #9
                  Fanny, in British English, refers to a portion of the female anatomay not normally discussed in polite society.

                  JR
                  JR

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