Things You'd Love To Say Out Loud....

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  • MoldnMaker
    Established Member
    • Dec 2005
    • 146
    • McKenzie, TN, USA.
    • BT3100-1

    Things You'd Love To Say Out Loud....

    Just got this from a freind I was ROFLOL.



    THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD AT WORK

    1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of crap.

    2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

    3. How about never? Is never good for you?

    4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

    5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it
    my way.

    6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

    7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

    8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

    9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a **** word
    you're saying.

    10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.

    11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

    12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

    13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a flip.

    14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

    15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you

    16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique
    point of view.

    17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

    18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

    19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

    20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant

    21. Congratulations, you have officially earned the Dumber Than a
    Box of Rocks Award.

    22. You know the acronym behind your name won't keep me from kicking
    your butt in the parking lot.

    23. And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be...?

    24. Do I look like a people person?

    25. This isn't an office. It's **** with fluorescent lighting.

    26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

    27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

    28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

    29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed. Sound familiar??????

    30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

    31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

    32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

    33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

    34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

    35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

    36. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

    37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

    38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.

    39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

    40. Oh I get it... like humor... but different.
    "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." by Albert Einstein
  • gmack5
    Veteran Member
    • Dec 2002
    • 1973
    • Quapaw, Oklahoma, USA.
    • Ryobi BT3000SX & BT3100

    #2
    41. Did you ever notice that every time your mouth flys open, your ears slam shut???
    Stop thinking why you can't and Start thinking how you CAN!
    Remember, SUCCESS comes in CANS!
    George

    Comment

    • Jim Boyd
      Veteran Member
      • Dec 2002
      • 1766
      • Montgomery, Texas, USA.
      • Delta Unisaw

      #3
      #39 is a classic
      Jim in Texas and Sicko Ryobi Cult Member ©

      Comment

      • Tundra_Man
        Veteran Member
        • Jan 2003
        • 1589
        • Sioux Falls, SD, USA.
        • Ryobi BT3100

        #4
        My wife says #4 to me on a regular basis.
        Terry

        Life's too short to play an ordinary guitar: Tundra Man Custom Guitars

        Comment

        • stewchi
          Established Member
          • Apr 2003
          • 339
          • Chattanooga, TN.

          #5
          #6 is great, I think I need to get a tie with that printed on it.

          Comment

          • ddamoore
            Established Member
            • Jun 2003
            • 225
            • Oklahoma City, OK, USA.
            • Craftsman (Ridgid 3612 Clone)

            #6
            Funny Stuff

            Thanks for the grins and giggles.
            Dennis

            "Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects" - Will Rogers

            Comment

            • crokett
              The Full Monte
              • Jan 2003
              • 10627
              • Mebane, NC, USA.
              • Ryobi BT3000

              #7
              I said #6 to a customer once, more or less. Many years ago I did phone support for a small SW company. An irate customer called in and started swearing. I advised him he needed to calm down or I'd hang up. He didn't I did. Phone rang again, same guy, same result. Phone rang again, same guy. After a few attempts by me to cut in, I finally told him to shut the f@#$ up. After a few seconds of dead silence he says "What did you say to me?"

              I explained much more politely that I was there to help him with whatever he needed and since that was how he talked I was just trying to make him feel comfortable. He got the message and I was able to help him with his problem. Only other thing I heard about it was the next day my boss told me that I got away with one, but to not do it again.
              David

              The chief cause of failure in this life is giving up what you want most for what you want at the moment.

              Comment

              • Xamu
                Established Member
                • Jul 2003
                • 296
                • Chicagoland, USA.

                #8
                #42 Your Mom was wrong - it wasn't just a phase - and you didn't outgrow it.

                #43 When you move your head I can hear the pea rattle.
                TTFN,
                JP
                Good woodworking comes from experience. Experience comes from bad woodworking.

                Comment

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