Doctor's visit

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  • gordons
    Established Member
    • Aug 2003
    • 192
    • Charlotte, NC, USA.
    • Ryobi BT3100

    #1

    Doctor's visit

    I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age. A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"

    He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco or drink beer or wine?" "Oh no," I replied. "I'm not doing drugs, either." Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?" I said, "No, my other Doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!"

    "Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?"
    No, I don't," I said. He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?" No," I said. "I don't do any of those things."

    He looked at me and said, "Then why do you give a ****?"
    Gordon
    I'd rather be a hammer than a nail
  • BobSch
    Veteran Member
    • Aug 2004
    • 4385
    • Minneapolis, MN, USA.
    • BT3100

    #2
    That brings to mind an old quote (nope, I don't know who said it.)

    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, 'Dang, what a ride!'
    Bob

    Bad decisions make good stories.

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    • scorrpio
      Veteran Member
      • Dec 2005
      • 1566
      • Wayne, NJ, USA.

      #3
      Reminds me of this one:
      An elderly couple (around 80) both die in a car crash. For the past 15 or so years, they been eating only healthy foods, so they were in pretty good shape.
      St. Peter meets them at the gates of heaven, and shows them their new house, which is spacious, sunny, and beautifully appointed.
      -It is wonderful - says the man - but what are mortgage and maintenance costs?
      -It's all free - says St. Peter - this is heaven!

      He shows them a nearby beautiful golf course.
      -How much is the membership? - asks the man.
      -Free!!! This is Heaven!

      He takes them to a local buffet, piled with every kind of food and drink imaginable.
      -Ok - says the man - I figure this is also all free, but where are the health foods?
      -Ooh, this is the best part - says St. Peter - you can eat and drink whatever you want in any quantity with no concerns! This is HEAVEN!

      Suddenly, the man turns to his wife,enraged.
      -You and your blasted bran muffins!!!! You could have been here 15 years ago!!!

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