Humor thread - click the smiley face and "thumbs up" for good ones!

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  • LCHIEN
    replied
    Ron Chestna 89 years of age was stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and was asked where he was going at that time of night. Ron replied,

    "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."

    The officer asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"

    Ron replied, "That would be my wife."

    Leave a comment:


  • LCHIEN
    commented on 's reply
    Hank, I knew someone would say that!

  • leehljp
    commented on 's reply
    . . . except those crooked trees that make the boards from Lowes or Home Depot.

  • LCHIEN
    replied
    Old Chinese proverb: The crooked tree lives its life while the straight tree ends up as planks.
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  • LCHIEN
    commented on 's reply
    That brings up the question can I use a handsaw to cut off my fingers or do I need to use a fingersaw?

  • leehljp
    commented on 's reply
    That brought to mind a comment made to one of the pen makers on the pen turning forum a few years ago: A customer looked at the pen made with wood and asked: "How are you able to wrap the wood around the pen so well?"

  • LCHIEN
    replied
    Honestly, saw on Facebook, someone wants to know how you cut a rectangular piece of wood with a circular saw.


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    I guess the next question is, Can I use a table saw to make a chair or do I need to buy a chair saw?​
    Last edited by LCHIEN; 02-29-2024, 03:51 AM.

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  • LCHIEN
    replied
    Home Improvement: Tim the Toolman lovers will like this one.

    Last edited by LCHIEN; 01-30-2024, 11:16 PM.

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  • LCHIEN
    replied
    Click image for larger version

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    ............

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  • twistsol
    replied
    I ordered a new thesaurus from Amazon and it came today, but all the pages were blank.

    I can't find the words to describe how angry I am.

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  • LCHIEN
    replied
    I made something with a pallet
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  • LCHIEN
    replied
    don't have scissors???

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  • LCHIEN
    replied
    men and women differences again

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  • LCHIEN
    replied
    Click image for larger version

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    Mum, are you OK?

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  • leehljp
    replied
    I may have posted this one years ago:

    A man came home after midnight dead drunk. He entered the house staggering and in the living room he crashed into his wife's favorite lamp, breaking it and making a loud noise in the process. His wife and daughter came running. They got him to his bedroom and the daughter left. Next morning, the daughter went into the kitchen to find her mom cooking a big breakfast and her dad's favorites.

    "Mom, why are you cooking dads favorite foods, since he came home late, dead drunk and broke your favorite lamp?"

    "Well," she said, "Last night, I started to undress him and he pushed me away and said: 'No no lady, you don't do that! I'm a married man!' "

    Then she replied: "I'll make him the best breakfast I can!"

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