Humor thread - click the smiley face and "thumbs up" for good ones!

[LCHIEN]

OK, we need some fun around here, it needs some lightening up.
How about some stories, funny pictures, maybe about woodworking and tools, or not.
Good taste and adherence to forum rules no politics, no religion. Please Just don't go overboard on heavily misogynist jokes that killjoys (mostly departed) got us all in a bind last year or picking on stereotypes by name. Ethnic jokes where you substitute the word "ethnic" in place of a specific ethnic group perhaps???

And please, avoid unfunny jokes at all costs. Otherwise I'm going to recycle some old humor from the archives. I'm sure you all want to hear about radio alarm saws again.

.

[LCHIEN]

CO2 * LOL on Tesla

[LCHIEN]

Is potty humor acceptable?

[nicer20]

Wow - great prediction.

[LCHIEN]

Sign for shop electrical and power tools

[leehljp]

I have to print out a copy of this one! Funny and Truthful! Love it!

[LCHIEN]

Even the guys who can always be counted on to touch something, when it says "do not touch", will think twice and then touch it.

[LCHIEN]

Are Geriatrics fair game? Only if we geriatrics post it first.

[LCHIEN]

example of how not to offend people with ethnic jokes:

Two ethnics were building a house. The first ethnic was working on framing but was examining nails carefully and throwing away a large number of them.

The other ethnic sees this and says hey, what are you doing?

The first ethnic says, Well, about half these nails are defective, they have the heads on the wrong end!

The second ethnic says, Don't be wasteful, save them and use them on the other side of the house!

[LCHIEN]

Ikea tool recall

[LCHIEN]

Metric tool frustration

[Jim Frye]

Oh yeah, I remember this one!

[capncarl]

For our cold weather friends!

[Slik Geek]

What is the difference between inlaws and outlaws?

=========

Outlaws are wanted!

[twistsol]

I can't post my mother in law's favorite joke because I can't think of anyone it wouldn't offend.

So here is my dad's favorite ice fishing joke.

A guy goes out on the ice one morning with all his gear and is sitting on a bucket ice fishing and having no luck at all. After a few hours an old guy drills a hole about 10 feet from him, sits down and in a couple of minutes pulls out a nice walleye, followed by a a couple of bass and few more walleyes. In less than an hour he has his limit and is packing up to go home. The first guy speaks up.

"I've been here for hours and haven't had so much as a nibble and you've been pulling fish out like crazy, what's your secret?

The old man replies "oo hm oo eem erm m arm"

The first guy clearly didn't understand and said,"Could you please repeat that, I didn't get it."

The old man replies much slower this time, "oo hm oo eem erm m arm"

Once again, the first guy didn't get it. "Could you please say that one more time, I still didn't get it."

The old man spits a wad of something into his hand and says quite clearly, "You've got to keep your worms warm."

[LCHIEN]

I've heard that one but forgot the punch line, you're dad is right, its really funny, probably even more so when you tell it in person with good sound effects and acting!

[LCHIEN]

DIY related advice

[nicer20]

All of us ....

[capncarl]

Everyone loves bacon!

[Slik Geek]

That is funny and sad at the same time!

[Dedpedal]

What’s so funny about fresh slabs of red cedar?

[capncarl]

anyone have any funny mask jokes.

[LCHIEN]

Don't Fart!