Losing Weight

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  • JSUPreston
    Veteran Member
    • Dec 2005
    • 1189
    • Montgomery, AL.
    • Delta 36-979 w/Biesemyere fence kit making it a 36-982. Previous saw was BT3100-1.

    #1

    Losing Weight

    A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.

    The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.

    She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.
    The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

    Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up.

    The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.

    He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.
    The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me".

    Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and it takes him a while before he can continue, so for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

    Much to his delight on the fifth day he weighs himself only to discover that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised.

    He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program.

    "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."

    "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."

    The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds Richard Simmons standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you're mine."
    "It's a dog eat dog world out there, and I'm wearing Milk-Bone underwear."- Norm (from Cheers)

    Eat beef-because the west wasn't won on salad.
  • cabinetman
    Gone but not Forgotten RIP
    • Jun 2006
    • 15216
    • So. Florida
    • Delta

    #2
    The way I heard that one was he showed up at the dealer. They had several floors in their building. For each weight loss segment he was brought to a higher floor, where the rooms were huge and round and once inside a babe was let in by a sliding door, and she would say if you can catch me you can **** me. The last room, a 750lb gorilla was let in, and he said if I catch you I'm gonna **** you.



    "I'M NEVER WRONG - BUT I'M NOT ALWAYS RIGHT"

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    • just4funsies
      Senior Member
      • Dec 2005
      • 843
      • Florida.
      • BT3000

      #3
      I'm halfway through my own intensive 30-day weight loss program... So far I've lost 15 days!
      ...eight, nine, TEN! Yep! Still got all my fingers!

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